Mate Selection

Looking back on the previous research I have read, it is all too clear that men and women have fundamental differences in what they want in a marriage partner. Could this be a reason for the double standard of promiscuity? These basic differences, from an Evolutionary Psychologists perspective, could explain why today's  society stresses this double standard about promiscuity.

Relating back to Schmitt's article from my previous blog post, he believes that the differences between what males want and females want are distinct. Research has shown that long term, men prefer youth and physical attractiveness while women prefer men who are older, intelligent, and ambitious.

Helen E. Fisher, PhD, (pictured above) is a professor of anthropology at Rutgers University who has written numerous books about the mating strategies and habits of men and women. She made a statement regarding the idea of youth and physical beauty that I found really interesting; she said, "Men and looking for youth and beauty, women know that. They do try to look young and pretty. It is remarkable how the makeup and clothing industry constantly plays on this. Makeup makes the face clearer, the eyes bigger, the lips more baby-like red, the hair the sweet light color of youth. Clothing, too: The belts and things that show off the waist-to-hip ratio, the tight blue jeans and shirts that mold the figure. Both sexes always know these things". 


Could this idea of men always striving for the next young thing make it okay for men to be promiscuous in search of it? Could this idea of perfection lead women to be promiscuous in return for feeling wanted? 

Good Sex Partners Vs. Lots of Sex Partners

A theory has surfaced among the myths of sexuality concerning individuals sexual desires and gender. The idea that men and women's sexual desires are hardwired isn't new - contrary, this idea has been causing arguments and controversy for years. Now, according to evolutionary psychology, men and women have each evolved their own particular strategies for seeking sexual partners. However, I have a hard time believing this because if this theory were to be true, that would mean that men ALL OVER have the same sexual desires and the same goes for women.

Although I had to admit it, I did find evidence supporting this idea. Coming from the International Sexuality Description Project led by David P. Schmitt. He states, "both men and women show signs of being programmed to be monogamous in a certain way and promiscuous in a certain way. The main difference is in short-term mating strategies, or how men go about being promiscuous."

Schmitt believes that when talking about infidelity or promiscuity, men focus on large numbers while women focus on quality. At first I took this statement the wrong way, but with further reading, I was able to determine what his deeper meaning was. Schmitt isn't saying that women are designed to be faithful and men are designed to be promiscuous. Instead he is saying that both men and women are fully capable of being promiscuous and having one night stands as well as long lasting relationships.

Long story short, Schmitt and his colleagues asked men and women all over the world about what they wanted from long-term and short-term relationships. I thought that his findings were really interesting! He found that when men opt for short-term relationships they pursue more sexual partners than women. When women choose short-term relationships they don't go for large numbers but rather focus on physically attractive men who are high in social dominance. Another big difference was that men are quicker and more ready to say "yes!" to sex than women. Men believe that they only need to know an individual a relatively short time before they can have sex, while women want to know their partners significantly longer.

Schmitt determined that these differences hold true (across 6 continents!) regardless of whether women or men are married or single, and heterosexual or homosexual.

Overall, this journal article really got me thinking. (The article also happens to be quite long and I will continue to use it for further blog entries!) It is evident that when being promiscuous, men and women look for different characteristics in their partners, BUT men and women by nature can be as equally promiscuous. So, taking an evolutionary psychologists perspective, why is it acceptable for men to act on this biological programming but not women? IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE! Personally, I feel that our society, as well as the society of six other continents, is so misconstrued. Women can have casual sex too - get over it!

My pop culture example comes from the movie "Easy A", a modern day spin off of the book "The Scarlet Letter". The clip above shows Olive, the "promiscuous girl" performing a sexy music number. While the boys cheer, the girls look on in disgust. This shows societies feelings on promiscuous women - disgusted and something to gawk at. I feel that if it were the other way and a promiscuous man were performing, he would be looked at like a stud rather than a slut.




Schmitt, David P.Universal Sex Differences in the Desire for Sexual Variety: Tests From 52 Nations, 6 Continents, and 13 Islands.Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, Vol 85(1), Jul 2003, 85-104.

Monogamy - What's up with that?

“A girl can wait for the right man to come along, but in the meantime that still doesn’t mean she can’t have a wonderful time with all the wrong ones” - Cher

Focusing on this idea of promiscuity differences between genders, I thought that I would first look at the concept of monogamy and relationships and how they vary between males and females. I’d imagine that paradoxically, both men and women and programmed to mate for life (that meaning they can choose short term or long term sex/relationship strategies) – however, majority wise, I’m assuming that what men want differs from what women want. 

Monogamy is the state of having a sexual relationship with only one partner. I feel that men and women have opposing opinions on the subject, not only concerning their own gender but ALSO the opposite. I read an article once, based on research done at Bradley University, which stated that men and women are programmed differently when it comes to being monogamous and promiscuous. The researchers believed that men focus on achieving a large quantity of sexual partners whereas women focus on quality - In my opinion this is bias. Women are just as promiscuous as men, and vice versa. The thing that really bothers me about this, and society as a whole, is everyone is okay with men sleeping around, but if this article had been about women doing the same, people would have been outraged! But why?! I’ll tell you why, because society places this stupid double standard on sex according to gender.

“A man is only as faithful as his opportunity” – Chris Rock

But why do people fear monogamy and prefer promiscuity? A recent study examined why people choose to engage in significant amounts of sexual activity. Researchers examined 237 reasons from participants for why they engage in sex. The nine most popular reasons were “pure attraction in general, to experience physical pleasure, an expression of love, feeling wanted/desired, curiosity, seeking new experiences, mere opportunity, and it just happened due to uncontrollable circumstances.” The article then went on to state “men and women’s sexual activities are communicated about very differently socially and culturally. Men’s sexual conquests are celebrated, with men labeled as ‘studs’.  Women who have sex with several men are negatively labeled as ‘sluts’, however.” 

I believe that this double standard is partially due to the social schema society has set up for males and females regarding sex. Men are socialized to be more sexually active than women, and are less likely to commit to monogamous relationships. Women, in contrast, are socialized to be sexually passive and faithful in relationships. Hey society! I think you need to get a grip and realize these societal constructs are ignorant! 

References:

Emmers-Sommer, T. M., Warber, K., & Halford, J. (2010). Reasons for (Non)engagement in Infidelity. Marriage & Family Review, 46(6/7), 420-444. doi:10.1080/01494929.2010.528707

The Double Standard of Promiscuity

“I don’t think I was constructed to be monogamous. I don’t think it’s the nature of any man to be monogamous. Men are propelled by genetically ordained impulses, over which they have no control, to distribute their seed into many females as possible” – Marlon Brando

The gender stereotype that I have chosen to research revolves around promiscuity, sexuality, and the different rules society has established for men and women.  Promiscuity has a universal definition stating:  one who indulges in many promiscuous (casual and indiscriminate) sexual relations.  However, even though there is one definition, it applies differently between males and females.  While what sexual behavior is considered “promiscuous” varies between cultures as does the prevalence of promiscuity, different standards for men and women are universally applied. I believe that there is a significant double standard between how men and women are judged for promiscuity.

“To sleep around is absolutely wrong for a woman; it’s degrading and it completely ruins her personality. Sooner or later it will destroy all that is feminine and beautiful and idealistic in her” – Barbara Cartland

             

Stereotypes of a promiscuous woman have tended to always be negative, bringing forth connotations of being a “slut”, “skank” or “easy”, while male stereotypes have been more positive, typically expressing approval for high number of sexual partners.  When women are considered promiscuous they are looked down upon by both genders. Many men consider promiscuous women as objects solely for the purpose of receiving sexual gratification. Many women consider them undignified and unrefined, as well as dangerous to their own relationships with men.  However for men, sexual conquests are considered a strong sign of manhood. This standard, in my opinion is so absurd, that while people preach about abstinence for young girls, they will wonder why a young man isn’t having sexual relations yet.  

I have chosen to examine and further research this gender stereotype because it is one that angers me the most. After learning much about the History of the 1960s and becoming intrigued with the Sexual Revolution of the era, it has come to mean a lot to me. The fact that men are freely allowed to enjoy and partake in numerous sexual acts, but women are not, is quite disturbing to me. Not that I am promoting the idea of a ravenous group orgy for liberation, but rather I think sex is something enjoyable to both genders and should be accepted for both; one gender should not be made to feel guilty while another feels pleasure. 

A good pop culture example of this stereotype is the song "Can't Hold Us Down" by Christina Aguilera and Lil Kim. This song is about gender stereotyping and promiscuity between males and females.