“A girl can wait for the right man to come along, but in the meantime that still doesn’t mean she can’t have a wonderful time with all the wrong ones” - Cher
Focusing on this idea of promiscuity differences between genders, I thought that I would first look at the concept of monogamy and relationships and how they vary between males and females. I’d imagine that paradoxically, both men and women and programmed to mate for life (that meaning they can choose short term or long term sex/relationship strategies) – however, majority wise, I’m assuming that what men want differs from what women want.
Monogamy is the state of having a sexual relationship with only one partner. I feel that men and women have opposing opinions on the subject, not only concerning their own gender but ALSO the opposite. I read an article once, based on research done at Bradley University, which stated that men and women are programmed differently when it comes to being monogamous and promiscuous. The researchers believed that men focus on achieving a large quantity of sexual partners whereas women focus on quality - In my opinion this is bias. Women are just as promiscuous as men, and vice versa. The thing that really bothers me about this, and society as a whole, is everyone is okay with men sleeping around, but if this article had been about women doing the same, people would have been outraged! But why?! I’ll tell you why, because society places this stupid double standard on sex according to gender.
“A man is only as faithful as his opportunity” – Chris Rock
But why do people fear monogamy and prefer promiscuity? A recent study examined why people choose to engage in significant amounts of sexual activity. Researchers examined 237 reasons from participants for why they engage in sex. The nine most popular reasons were “pure attraction in general, to experience physical pleasure, an expression of love, feeling wanted/desired, curiosity, seeking new experiences, mere opportunity, and it just happened due to uncontrollable circumstances.” The article then went on to state “men and women’s sexual activities are communicated about very differently socially and culturally. Men’s sexual conquests are celebrated, with men labeled as ‘studs’. Women who have sex with several men are negatively labeled as ‘sluts’, however.”
I believe that this double standard is partially due to the social schema society has set up for males and females regarding sex. Men are socialized to be more sexually active than women, and are less likely to commit to monogamous relationships. Women, in contrast, are socialized to be sexually passive and faithful in relationships. Hey society! I think you need to get a grip and realize these societal constructs are ignorant!
References:
Emmers-Sommer, T. M., Warber, K., & Halford, J. (2010). Reasons for (Non)engagement in Infidelity. Marriage & Family Review, 46(6/7), 420-444. doi:10.1080/01494929.2010.528707
