Good Sex Partners Vs. Lots of Sex Partners

A theory has surfaced among the myths of sexuality concerning individuals sexual desires and gender. The idea that men and women's sexual desires are hardwired isn't new - contrary, this idea has been causing arguments and controversy for years. Now, according to evolutionary psychology, men and women have each evolved their own particular strategies for seeking sexual partners. However, I have a hard time believing this because if this theory were to be true, that would mean that men ALL OVER have the same sexual desires and the same goes for women.

Although I had to admit it, I did find evidence supporting this idea. Coming from the International Sexuality Description Project led by David P. Schmitt. He states, "both men and women show signs of being programmed to be monogamous in a certain way and promiscuous in a certain way. The main difference is in short-term mating strategies, or how men go about being promiscuous."

Schmitt believes that when talking about infidelity or promiscuity, men focus on large numbers while women focus on quality. At first I took this statement the wrong way, but with further reading, I was able to determine what his deeper meaning was. Schmitt isn't saying that women are designed to be faithful and men are designed to be promiscuous. Instead he is saying that both men and women are fully capable of being promiscuous and having one night stands as well as long lasting relationships.

Long story short, Schmitt and his colleagues asked men and women all over the world about what they wanted from long-term and short-term relationships. I thought that his findings were really interesting! He found that when men opt for short-term relationships they pursue more sexual partners than women. When women choose short-term relationships they don't go for large numbers but rather focus on physically attractive men who are high in social dominance. Another big difference was that men are quicker and more ready to say "yes!" to sex than women. Men believe that they only need to know an individual a relatively short time before they can have sex, while women want to know their partners significantly longer.

Schmitt determined that these differences hold true (across 6 continents!) regardless of whether women or men are married or single, and heterosexual or homosexual.

Overall, this journal article really got me thinking. (The article also happens to be quite long and I will continue to use it for further blog entries!) It is evident that when being promiscuous, men and women look for different characteristics in their partners, BUT men and women by nature can be as equally promiscuous. So, taking an evolutionary psychologists perspective, why is it acceptable for men to act on this biological programming but not women? IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE! Personally, I feel that our society, as well as the society of six other continents, is so misconstrued. Women can have casual sex too - get over it!

My pop culture example comes from the movie "Easy A", a modern day spin off of the book "The Scarlet Letter". The clip above shows Olive, the "promiscuous girl" performing a sexy music number. While the boys cheer, the girls look on in disgust. This shows societies feelings on promiscuous women - disgusted and something to gawk at. I feel that if it were the other way and a promiscuous man were performing, he would be looked at like a stud rather than a slut.




Schmitt, David P.Universal Sex Differences in the Desire for Sexual Variety: Tests From 52 Nations, 6 Continents, and 13 Islands.Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, Vol 85(1), Jul 2003, 85-104.